I'm from Missouri. Well, I was born in Oklahoma, but I hardly lived there long enough to call it home. I lived in Springfield, Missouri for most of my life. All of my friends are there, and most of the family that I really care about live there (i.e. my parents, and one brother). It's where I lost virginity, and where I did most of the drugs I've done for the first time. It's where I broke my arm (I was two), where I learned to play violin, and where I went to school.
And so, now I'm wondering this: why the hell did I move?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I've needed to broaden my horizons for a very long time, and moving away for school is probably the best, most stream-line way of doing that. I put it off for long enough. I even did my first two semesters of college in Springfield (good ol' Missouri State), but even going into that, I knew I was going to transfer eventually. So, now I'm here, in Philadelphia, going to Temple University.
And Jesus Fuck Almighty, I forgot how hard it is to make friends. I mean, I should've guessed that I'd be lonely for awhile, and I should've known that it'd feel way too much like most of high school, but I didn't know how much I had come to rely on my social group for things to do on the weekend. Who do I have to dance with? Who plays poker here?
The only lengthy social interaction I've had was with these guys (and one of their girlfriends) two floors above me. They were certainly nice, and I got a free '40 out of it, but we shared little to no interests. They were into industrial; I like Creedence Clearwater Revival and the Scissor Sisters. They wanted to play beer pong; I was about to suggest rummy. I might see them again, though, because I'm tired of only talking to my cat and myself.
But seriously, how do you stay in touch with people in the city? People seem to think I'm approachable (I've gotten several compliments, and several people have made small talk with me) but when they go to leave, I have no way to get in touch with them. I can't live like this. I can very well smoke in my room, with the window open, but I'm going down to the courtyard just to get a chance to talk to someone. Not to mention, the boredom is making me smoke more, which is expensive here (seriously, what's up Pennsylvania? I thought the quakers were supposed to be non-intrusive).
I have a brother in the area, but he's recently divorced, and is busy trying to make it with his new girl, so we haven't really seen each other. Also, he works, so the weekends are his only option. I can't compete with a romantic prospect, nor do I intend to try.
I had a big group of friends back home. We all had at least one party every weekend, at which there was ample booze, and usually some interesting substances. They were good at dancing (mostly), most of them musicians, had great taste in music, and there was something to do 9/10 weekends. We went to the Waffle House and played rummy or poker, went to a house and danced and did molly, had a bonfire and road the four-wheelers, hung out at my boyfriend's and dropped acid, bowled and played pool... the things that normal freaks our age do.
I also have a boyfriend in Missouri. Kyle. He and I have been friends for over seven years now, but just started dating the summer of my freshman year of college. We're doing the long-distance thing, which is hard. Skype helps, but it's not the same as cuddling up next to him, and his computer keeps overheating. He's moving here either after the semester, or next year. I hope it's the former, but we'll see.
So, you can see how I might be a bit lonely.
I'm starting this blog as a means of therapy, I guess. I hope some of the anecdotes will be funny, and I hope anyone who accidentally stumbles across this finds it slightly entertaining before they move on.
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